February 6, 2002
The X-Files #9: Shedding More Light Into the Dark Abyss
Hello everyone
This compilation includes some really weird stuff - hence its X-files designation - as well as some wry, satirical humor on the duplicity of the EvilMongerer in Chief who definitely needs to receive as much Light as possible from us - as suggested by Linda below - to help bring out the truth from the darkness where it is now concealed and heal what can still be healed...
Jean Hudon
Earth Rainbow Network Coordinator
http://www.cybernaute.com/earthconcert2000
"...The first rule for maintaining control over other human beings is to powerfully discourage individual mental development through impressing the notion of superior external authority... Information is the basic fuel of all mental development...The power to manipulate minds is becoming so sophisticated that only the most circumspect are surviving as reasonably free thinkers. As increasingly diabolical power consolidates in fewer and fewer hands, access to alternative information becomes a determining factor in human life... its main technique is through incessantly feeding the public an entire world-view made out of toxic substitutes for information and truth... It is crucial to support, in every way we can, those who are making the effort to supply us with informational choices..."
- Diane Harvey, from "The People's Republic of Information" at http://www.sightings.com/general8/harv.htm
Sent by Jeff Wefferson <therockist@yahoo.com> who also recommended his introductory article on the infotoxin hypothesis at http://www.adbusters.org/oldwebsite/Articles/ageinfotoxin.html and his website at http://www.geocities.com/tutbrains/
Quotations on Technology and Mass Mind Control sent by Paul Walker <pjw56@hotmail.com>
"We need a program of psychosurgery for political control of our society. The purpose is physical control of the mind. Everyone who deviates from the given norm can be surgically mutilated.
- 1974 Congressional Testimony of Dr. Jose Delgado
"The individual may think that the most important reality is his own existence, but this is only his personal point of view. This lacks historical perspective. Man does not have the right to develop his own mind. This kind of liberal orientation has great appeal. We must electronically control the brain. Someday armies and generals will be controlled by electric stimulation of the brain."
- Dr. Jose Delgado, Director of Neuropsychiatry Yale University Medical School Congressional Record, No. 26, Vol. 118 February 24, 1974 - Posted at http://www.rense.com/general19/quotations.htm
CONTENTS
1. A Bit of Astrology-Camelot Returning?
2. END OF THE NWO VIA PSI-ASSASSINS AKA REMOTE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATES
3. HAARP FULLY OPERATIONAL
4. Global Village or Global Pillage
5. Laughing in the Face of Evil
6. Axis Mania Grips the World
SEE ALSO:
USA TO ATTACK IRAQ IN MAY
http://english.pravda.ru/main/2002/02/05/26214.html
ENRON IS ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG
http://www.alternet.org/?IssueAreaID=30
The Bush crowd was not simply duped by Enron and its partners-in-fraud. In fact, the White House deliberately created a friendly climate for such scoundrels.
ENRON WILL FORCE DUBYA'S RESIGNATION - Michael Moore
http://www.alternet.org/?IssueAreaID=30
Because he allowed Enron to rip a huge hole in our political system and in so many people's lives, it is time for George W. Bush to resign.
Another Enron-White House Connection
http://www.truthout.com/02.02E.Enron.WH.htm
War on terror loses its way (Jan 17, 2002)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/afghanistan/comment/story/0,11447,634957,00.html
As George Bush's anti-terrorism campaign expands its aims, it is in danger of obscuring the original quest for justice. (...) The US air force has continued a heavy, daily bombardment in the area around Zawar, despite growing protests from villagers and expressions of concern from ministers belonging to Hamid Karzai's interim government in Kabul.
White House Must Save Enron Papers (Feb 2)
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&u=/ap/20020202/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/enron_investigation_302
WASHINGTON (AP) The Justice Department, drawing the White House into its criminal investigation of Enron Corp., ordered President Bush's staff Friday to preserve documents relating to conversations with Enron executives about the energy company's financial interests. The White House said it would comply with the directive, which applied to several other federal agencies. It does not require the agencies to surrender the documents, only save them in case investigators want the information at another time. CLIP
In-depth coverage about Energy Policy
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/fc/US/Energy_Policy/
Bush to Propose $379B Defense Budget
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&u=/ap/20020202/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_defense_budget_8 (...) The proposal, part of the $2.13 trillion federal budget for next year that the president will release Monday, provides the first detailed glimpse of Bush's vision for defense spending. He and other administration officials already have said defense, domestic security and the economy will be the three top priorities of his spending plan. (...) The papers show that Bush envisions the Pentagon's budget growing gradually to $451.4 billion in 2007.
The Ten Worst Corporations of 2001
http://63.111.165.25/01december/dec01corp1.html
Looks at corporate responsibility and moral behavior in the context of the corporation as a legal 'person,' with full constitutional rights. From the Multinational Monitor.
1.
From: "Linda Evans" <lle333@earthlink.net>
Subject: A Bit of Astrology--Camelot Returning?
Date: Sun, 27 Jan 2002
Dear Friends:
Kuthumi sent a message earlier saying that Jan 1, 2002 marked the return of Camelot. He also said that if the King (ascended masters often call Presidents "Kings") is not protected, Camelot will fail. I am sure you are feeling the promise of new times in the recent energy, as well as relief that some of the ugly truths are being finally revealed.
When looking at the planets for Jan 1, where many planets in Capricorn are opposed to Jupiter in Cancer, I see that our president (the "king", who is a Sun sign Cancer) and our nation (also a Sun sign Cancer) are favored by Jupiter, the blessing planet. Hence, the renewed patriotism and "family" feeling, with Bush masterfully taking the helm to protect our nation and bring us all together. Although I am not a big Bush fan, I do think he likes being looked up to as the protector and father, and I think he has a really good wife in Laura...he is one of those who could really do some good perhaps. So he is somewhat protected by Jupiter until August, although Jupiter's expansiveness can also mean transit to a higher dimension through death. However, let's assume that Jupiter protects him and showers its blessings on him and our nation.
The only problem is that our renewed sense of family comes from false ideas about protecting ourselves vs terrorism, since it seems more and more that the war on terrorism is really a front to institute other plans...and so the powerful opposition of Pluto (revealing hidden darkness and transforming) in Sagittarius (sign of truth and reform of politics, religion, education in a global way) and Saturn in Gemini (teaching us about how to create a reality of joy and true communication, and also revealing the hidden dark side of the "twins") is demanding greater truth and accountability..."owning our shadow."
With Jupiter in Cancer opposed to all the planets in Capricorn, and particularly Chiron, the wounded healer, I see Bush (the king) and our nation in danger from big business, big money, the good old boys of the establishment. If he becomes too zealous in reforms or in doing good things, those in control behind the scenes...e.g., the big corporations and the political money of the 13 families (who are much more vicious)...will dispense with him. Chiron in Capricorn is demanding integrity and truth in business and politics...in the power structures of our world. The collapses of Enron, Polaroid, K-Mart are just the beginning. Over the next 3 years of Chiron in Capricorn, we will be tested for such truth and integrity. If the corporations and others in power do not reform, they will probably choose to dispense with anyone in their way and press forward with a very dark agenda....and there lies the possibility of Camelot's failure. Those businesses etc that do have integrity and truth , and who have the interests of the people and the earth at heart, will probably begin to prosper, if the climate allows. For this reason, I have been seeing light of protection around Bush and hope that you do the same. Though Bush seems somewhat a puppet in the hands of those behind the curtain, I think he is the lesser of many evils, and I truly think he could be one of those Ramtha used to talk about when he said "all it would take is a few of the gray men to turn toward the light and all would be changed."
Please pray for the protection of the "king" and for our nation, and pray also that the truth is revealed in all hearts. Blessings, Linda Lee
PS I realize that to pray for Bush's protection in these upsetting times seems somewhat strange, but I do think the alternative could be much worse. As you know, often our presidents are puppets in the hands of much greater forces. The ascended masters work through the heads of nations to accomplish good things...they use whoever is available to try and work for good, and another assassination could be devastating. There has been much talk of assassination in CIA circles...
Linda Lee Evans
AND MY REPLY WAS:
Dear Linda
I find it pretty staggering that you would be recommending to pray to protect the illegitimate, unelected President Bush who came to power through a virtual coup d'etat, the very man who is in part responsible for the 9-11 tragedy (a completely CIA-staged event!), and whose father - one of the puppetmasters behind him - is co-responsible for the killing of over 8 million innocent people in the past 20 years.
I've not seen him doing any good since he is in office - as shown in GW BUSH'S FIRST YEAR IN OFFICE - and think that the evidence I circulate in my compilations show quite clearly on which side he is.
I don't know about all the astrological stuff you write about, but I would instead recommend only that the whole truth about his administration and his real agenda comes out and people like you finally come out of their hypnotic trance and clamor for the impeachment of George W Bush, Dick Cheney and the whole mafia around him and kick them out of power.
What were you thinking!... ;-)
Jean
P.S. See also "Smoking Gun in Enrongate - Let the impeachment begin?" in the Big Brother Files #30
HERE IS LINDA'S FURTHER COMMENT AND SOME ADDITIONAL - AND PRETTY AMAZING! - INFO SHE SENT
From: "Linda Evans" <lle333@earthlink.net>
Subject: Fw: [RMNEWS] END OF THE NWO VIA PSI-ASSASSINS AKA REMOTE MANCHURIANCANDIDATES
Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2002
Jean: Yes, yes, I know it sounds very strange. I know how evil the whole Bush clan is, particularly the father and Cheney etc, and even those in power above them. But for some reason I feel that the younger Bush is just a puppet and has leanings toward the light. He seems so devoted to family and children, and his wife does seem to be a kind and strong woman (have trouble believing they are all so bad when I read normal family things about them, but I guess these cover stories are what gets us into a lulled state of believing in well being). I have read many things that showed how Reagan and Nixon were set up by the powers that be...and maybe it IS fruitless to think anything good could come from any of these guys, but I keep praying for a spark of good to build in some of these guys to turn things around. Maybe I am a silly fool and it will just have to come to revolution and total cleansing. But the message below makes it seem even scarier if Bush is removed. Please know that I am not defending Bush... I am just trying to find a spark of good in the whole mess to support. Perhaps I should rethink...is there a nice carpenter somewhere who would like to be king?
Linda Lee
2.
From: Rayelan [mailto:rayelan@mindspring.com]
Sent: Saturday, January 26, 2002
Subject: [RMNEWS] END OF THE NWO VIA PSI-ASSASSINS AKA REMOTE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATES
From Rayelan:
I thank Rixon for posting the following information on the Forum.
For some time now I have been stating that the Bush Family was offered a deal by Faction 2 - The deal is stated thus: "Desert the new world order and we will help you rule one third of the world!"
This is the first time I have seen something similar written by someone besides me!
Many of the other statements below will seem "outrageous" to many people, but for serious Rumor Mill News readers, the following article will connect many of the pieces of the puzzle that we have been assembling!
I have written about being asked to work for Senator Claiborne Pell overseeing a "psi- warfare" program. I now realize that the program he wanted me to oversee was the one that is now called "remote-viewing". I have also known that the information being put out by people like Ed Dames is clever government disinformation designed to focus you attention in the wrong direction.
Furthermore, the workshops that are being given by "ex" government-trained RVers are designed for ONE thing -- to find people who have a certain innate talent... a talent that can be finely honed and used to assassinate!
Once these people are found, they are isolated from friends and family, usually under the auspices of a "religious" cult. They are then "rebuilt" psychologically, using torture, hypnosis and other techniques pionneered by mind control programs. Once their "re-modeling" is complete, they are perfect assassins! They can do their job from anywhere in the world, and once done, they will forget immediately. They will have been turned into the perfect "Remote Manchurian Candidate".
I have known about this for over ten years. The following is the first time I have seen anyone else talk about this aspect of remote viewing other wise known as psichic-warfare or psychic assassins. Tim Rifat calls it RI - Remote Influencing - I believe the name I first heard it called by,"psi-warfare" is its proper name!
Rayelan From the Rumor Mill News Reading Room
THE END OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER...?
Posted By: Rixon Date: Saturday, 26 January 2002
References: Remote Viewing by Tim Rifat published by Vision Paperbacks New Dawn Magazine issue number 69
The September 11 attack on America was organised by a Trillionaire elite who own the Federal Reserve, the Bank of England, the World Bank and the IMF -- whilst Bin Laden is a bought and paid for front man for these aspirant world rulers. America was attacked because the Bush clan and the US military are vying for supremacy in the N.W.O. with the Trillionaire elite, who wish to cripple the US and render its armed forces impotent. If the Trillionaire elite win this struggle the same group that organised Kennedy's assassination and Nixon's impeachment will oversee the downfall of Bush. The world will be shocked by revelations of War Crimes from camp X Ray in Cuba; for it is an open secret that the Muslim madmen there have been given the full NSA treatment. This involves roof of the mouth surgery, to place implants in the prisoners amygdalas, so that at the flick of a switch the pain receptors in their brains can electrically stimulated to induce total agony.
This work was pioneered by Delgado, continued by the CIA in MKULTRA and developed by the NSA for all US prisoners. To cover their tracks another implant in the hypothalamus erases all short-term memory and thereby removes all memory of their torture.
The masks and hoods the prisoners are forced to wear conceals the after effects of this NSA torture surgery. In effect a new Holocaust is in the offing with the NSA given free rein in the concentration camps built across America.
These American concentration camps are now being publicised in newspapers across Europe and, in response, liberal Europeans are beginning to view Americans as the new Nazis. While this may seem extreme it should be remembered that the Trillionaire elite own these newspapers; they also funded Hitler and Lenin and the stigma of a new Holocaust against Muslims will be used against Bush and his allies if they lose against the Trillionaire elite.
While these two malefic groups compete for world supremacy they forget that the Russians, Chinese and Indians have not been not entirely subjugated. Putin has just had the Western armed Chechen army decimated in Afghanistan; while the Jewish media mogul who owned three independent TV networks broadcasting anti Russian propaganda has been silenced and the Russian has told the Trillionaires that they can wait forever for repayment of past Soviet debts. Meanwhile the Americans seem to be intent goading China, but to no avail. First the Chinese embassy in Belgrade was bombed after which Taiwan was armed. Then the recent fiasco with the US spy plane and now Boeing has sent the Chinese President a heavily bugged 737 to serve as Presidential jet; while India nearly, but not quite, got into a nuclear confrontation with Pakistan.
However the Trillionaire elite has made a big mistake. To ensure success they should have engineered Russia's total collapse via incessant Vietnam like wars in the south of country, using Chechens and Muslim fanatics as insurgents. India and Pakistan should have crippled each other in a small-scale nuclear conflict; while the US could have been manipulated into annihilating China, using a spurious Gulf of Tonkin type attack in the Taiwan Straits to allow open war with China. But none of this happened.
Instead various factions in the New World Order have been at odds. But arguing over who rules the N.W.O. before destroying these three pretenders to the throne could prove fatal. The advent of psychic warfare enables the Russians, Chinese or Indians to Remotely Influence and then snuff out the odious Trillionaires and the Bush clique in one fell swoop. Already telepathic hypnosis, using Remote Influencing to knock a victim out from a distance, has been used on G.W. Bush while he ate a pretzel.and then choked on it. Now imagine what would have happened if he had been swimming or stepping out from the Presidential jet.
Using Remote Influencing on the insular cortex, the brain centre that controls the heart causes heart attacks in the victim; Cheney is especially vulnerable due to his heart condition. Raising and lowering serotonin or melatonin massively and erratically can drive the target insane; Rumsfield is keen to better Heinrich Himmler with his N.W.O. concentration camps so Remote Influencing him to loosen his grip on reality would be child's play. Switching on suicide genes (using the morphogenic field of the R.I. operator on the target) in the cells of the capillaries in the brains of the Trillionaire elite would kill them all from brain embolisms in one fell swoop. For a slower kill the morphogenic field in the R.I. operator can switch on the onco genes in the Trillionaire elite so the they become riddled with incurable cancers - a rather appropriate reward for these purveyors of pharmaceutical fraud and chemotherapy.
Considering one person anywhere in the world can use R.I. to kill all the Trillionaires, their families plus Bush and his clique, the hoax of the N.W.O. oligarchy could finally be thwarted. Ironically it was Sept. 11 when the adherents of the N.W.O. and their agents lost their biophysical bodies that opened up this new avenue of warfare, where the eye in the Illuminati pyramid is burnt away using R.I. Bill Coopers death should show all Americans that anyone who resists the New World Order will be eliminated - but thanks to Remote Influencing anyone can eliminate the New World Order.
References: Remote Viewing by Tim Rifat published by Vision Paperbacks New Dawn Magazine issue number 69
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RMNews, The Uncensored National Rumor
http://www.rumormillnews.com
THE ONLY RUMOR YOU CAN TRUST
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WHY WAS PRINCESS DIANA MURDERED?
http://www.dianaqueenofheaven.com
AND FINALLY LINDA ADDED THIS:
Dear Jean:
I had hesitated to send the message about the trillionaire cabal vs Bush to many people because it seems so very dark, frightening, and who knows about the veracity. There are some gentle people on my list who don't like to hear such things. It is a fine balance between searching for truth and scaring people to death, as I am sure you know. However, if you feel ok about it, do send it... because this is certainly the year of the truth, as evidenced especially by the Saturn-Pluto opposition, which is very intense until May 26, when it is exactly 16 degrees. We will hear many more things through May that will really startle us I think. And maybe then the people will say "enough." You know, Jean, that in the end it seems to come back to trust that the Divine plan is outworking, as all the Masters say. And we are masters too! Helping to reveal the truth I hope, and by our prayers helping to bring in the light more and more. They say that every prayer is like a white bird flying to Heaven. Lately I have been praying for the prisoners in Guantanamo...the misery of what one human can do to another is unbelievable.
Blessings on all you do in your tireless quest, in friendship,
Linda Lee
3.
Date: Fri, 01 Feb 2002
From: BILL D <tanchu@olypen.com>
Subject: HAARP FULLY OPERATIONAL
http://www.guerrillanews.com/government/doc288.html
While there is no concrete evidence of HAARP having been used, scientific findings suggest that it is at present fully operational. What this means is that HAARP could potentially be applied by the US military to selectively modify the climate of an "unfriendly nation" or "rogue state" with a view to destabilizing its national economy.
Agricultural systems in both developed and developing countries are already in crisis as a result of New World Order policies including market deregulation, commodity dumping, etc. Amply documented, IMF and World Bank "economic medicine" imposed on the Third World and the countries of the former Soviet block has largely contributed to the destabilization of domestic agriculture. In turn, the provisions of the World Trade Organization (WTO) have supported the interests of a handful of Western agri-biotech conglomerates in their quest to impose genetically modified (GMO) seeds on farmers throughout the World.
It is important to understand the linkage between the economic, strategic and military processes of the New World Order. In the above context, climatic manipulations under the HAARP program (whether accidental or deliberate) would inevitably exacerbate these changes by weakening national economies, destroying infrastructure and potentially triggering the bankruptcy of farmers over vast areas. Surely national governments and the United Nations should address the possible consequences of HAARP and other "non-lethal weapons" on climate change.
READ ENTIRE ARTICLE
http://www.guerrillanews.com/government/doc288.html
4.
From: http://www.villageorpillage.org/
Global Village or Global Pillage
Today's global economy lets corporations pit workers and communities against each other to see who will provide the lowest wages, most abusable workers, cheapest environmental costs, and biggest subsidies for corporations.
The result: a "RACE TO THE BOTTOM" in which conditions for all tend to fall toward the poorest and most desperate. But that gives people around the world a common interest in opposing the race to the bottom. This movie shows how they are doing so. The Global Village or Global Pillage Grassroots Education Project encourages grassroots actions and transnational linking to reverse the race the bottom.
Quotes from the Movie
http://www.villageorpillage.org/moviequote.html
The companies roam the world with no checks and balances in search of misery and poverty and unemployment, because they will tell you in their own testimonies that naturally in those areas you will find the lowest wages."
-- Charles Kernaghan
"Third world countries are being forced to race to the bottom. they have to compete with each other, outbid each other, in offering cheaper labor than their competitors and also offering more stringent legislation to control labor. So you get both repression and increased poverty. You depress the economy, but you also repress the freedom of the people."
-- Dennis Brutus
"If our only choice is to have globalization that means drastic cuts in social security and lower wages and lower benefits, we don't want that kind of globalization. But we can define a different kind of globalization, with ground rules that protected both social services and basic labor and human rights."
-- Thea Lee
"The inherent power of the people is more than enough to turn the tide if people realize what's at stake and that they've got the power, with trade unions and environmental groups and consumer groups, to prevail and win. So that we have global cooperation with the maximum of democracy, a respect for local institutions and community initiatives, instead of these mega-corporations that are strategizing and lobbying to control our world."
-- Ralph Nader
"You have to care because they affect the jobs in your community, they affect your standard of living, your quality of life. Whether if you have an accident and you get laid off, will there be any kind of social safety net there for you? This is why you need to care about human rights and issues of globalization. Workers in Mexico and their well-being is important to your well-being. Because if they can maltreat them, they can maltreat us."
-- Loretta Ross
You can download this movie from http://www.villageorpillage.org/DownloadMovie.html
5.
Sent by "Judith Iam" <judeiam@cwnet.com>
Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002
Laughing in the Face of Evil
Here's an amusing Wednesday item from InstaPundit.com:
"Reuters has become the Onion:" That's what the reader who sent me this link wrote. The link is to a Reuters story that begins: "LONDON (Reuters)--Iran, Iraq and North Korea on Wednesday rejected an accusation by President Bush that they form an 'axis of evil'." The responses sound a bit like something out of The Onion too.
It gets better. The Associated Press reports from Tehran that "Iran is honored to be the target of attack by the United States":
"There are some satans in the world, but America indeed is the great Satan," [supreme leader Ayatollah Ali] Khamenei said, speaking at his residence to participants who had concluded a conference in support of the Palestinian uprising a day earlier.
"The Islamic Republic of Iran is honored to be the target of wrath and anger of the most hated Satan in the world," state television quoted him saying.
Somehow we have the image of President Bush at an awards dinner, standing on the dais and declaring: "I'd like to thank all the little satans who help me get where I am today." The North Korean Foreign Ministry, meanwhile, put out a statement (you may have to scroll down to find it) that could have been written by a Democratic Party operative--if the Democrats weren't standing behind the president on the war:
The U.S. is in the grip of a serious economic recession that could hardly be seen in the days of the Democratic Party administration, there were large-scale attacks on the World Trade Center in New York and the U.S. Department of Defence building in Washington and large scandals related to the administration have been brought to light.
This is entirely attributable to the unilateral and self-opinionated foreign policy, political immaturity and moral leprosy of the Bush administration.
Herein lie answers to questions as to why the modern terrorism is focussed on the U.S. alone and why it has become serious while Bush is in office.
The reality goes to clearly prove that the root cause of all misfortune is the reckless strong-arm policy of the Bush administration.
The English-language edition of the German paper Die Welt has a guide to the Web sites of axis members (links are at the bottom of the page). What about other potential U.S. adversaries that didn't make the axis' cut? Consider this report:
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address. . . .
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
This is an actual satire, from SatireWire.com. Not so easy to tell the difference, is it?
A First Step Against Iraq
America has agreed to restore congressionally mandated funding to the Iraqi National Congress, the BBC reports. The money had been withheld because of accounting irregularities.
6.
From: "Judith Iam" <judeiam@cwnet.com>
Subject: Axis Mania Grips the World
Date: Sun, 3 Feb 2002
"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil"
-- N.Y. Times, 1/30/02
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA and SYRIA FORM "AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL" Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
Beijing -- Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than "that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of" in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics.
Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
See also:
SHOCKWAVES FROM BUSH SPEECH RIPPLE AROUND WORLD
http://english.pravda.ru/main/2002/02/03/26191.html
