January 30, 2002

The Light Series #14: The Ever-Growing Circle of Light


Hello everyone

There is a very special request in this compilation, something I've hesitated for a long time to put forward to you. But the latest developments - as you'll see in the #1 item below - now makes it an obvious necessity. I would have really preferred to never have to make this demand, but it seems the Universe now wants this to happen.

Anyway, I'm quite sure most of you will get a great kick out of this one, especially the end part

;-)

Jean Hudon
Earth Rainbow Network Coordinator
http://www.cybernaute.com/earthconcert2000


"Loving God is the most powerful Force there is on Earth. I - you - we are all God, going through the motion of experiencing the multitudinous facets of existence in all frequency realms there could possibly be. When we love God, we experience the Unifying Loveness of our True and sublime Nature and, in so being, we are the penultimate quintessence of All That Is in human form."

The "I" that is Us - Everywhere!


"Something deep in all of us yearns for Spirit's beauty, and we can find it no matter where we are."

- Sue Monk Kidd -- Sent by Cecilia Garaycochea <ceesga1@yahoo.com>


CONTENTS

1. I would like your address to send $
2. The goodness of life
3. Let´s reconnect to the Universal Beings WE ARE!
4. I for one will not stand by and do nothing
5. A comment on A Beacon of Hope
6. The Photon Band
7. Comment on the Rising Phoenix Series #6 compilation
8. Actual Radio Conversation
9. Kissing your ass good-bye
10. Notes from a Texas Chili Cookoff
11. For my next trick...


SEE ALSO:

Media compilation #45: The Never-Ending Aftermath of 9-11
http://www.cybernaute.com/earthconcert2000/Archives2002/MediaCompilation45.htm

You may want to sign a petition demanding the protection of the freedom of conscience in France at
http://www.PetitionOnline.com/CAP01/

Robert Muller's website includes thousands of ideas for peace and Decide To poems plus how to order his books in English, Italian and many other languages and links to other websites for a better world: http://www.robertmuller.org/




1.

From: Jane Grossman <jlg4hearts@aol.com>
Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2002
Subject: I would like your address to send $

Hi Jean,

I would like to send a small donation to you to let you know how much I appreciate your communication of both the light and dark issues to so many. Is it best to send by USPS?

Do you prefer a money order or certified check?

I came into some money so I am sending small donations to those who are working hard to shed the truth for so many of us. I have been faithfully reading your compilations for over 2 1/2 years and have passed so much info onto others.

With much gratitude for what you do.....

Blessings,

Jane Grossman

AND MY REPLY WAS:

Dearest Jane

You have no idea how your heart-filled offer is timely for me.

As I mentioned in a recent reply to an ERN subscriber (which was included in a Light series compilation) I never wanted to sollicit money from ERN subscribers because I deeply feel that what I'm doing is itself a trend setter - because, as I see it, the near future will be moneyless and the profit motivation entirely gone - and so some people have got to be trailblazers in that respect as well.

Yet if I'm able to do what I'm doing - which requires on average 35 to 45 hours/week of my time - it is because I can manage to live on very little money - which I mostly get through a governmental welfare program - and because I grow a good portion of my food and live in the mortgage-free house I built 22 years ago. However as I was coming back this morning from a meeting that was scheduled by the governmental people overseeing this welfare program, a meeting at which some pressure was gently put upon me to strive a little bit harder to find translation jobs (I've been a full-time professional translator for many years with over 20 books translated) which I could certainly find if I really do put my mind to it, I was considering the obvious fact that if I am to get back full-time on the job market, I would be really hard-pressed to maintain the networking service I provide. In fact, I think I would have to stop it almost entirely which would not be exactly my preferred choice...

So I'm now again thinking about this issue and wonder if I should not use your so kind offer as a template/springboard to now offer to anyone interested - and financially capable! - on the list to likewise send a yearly contribution towards enabling me to make a modest living out of this unique service I provide.

How would you feel about this and do you think it would be a sensible suggestion to put forward?

In response to your question, you simply need to send a regular check, by regular mail at:

P.O. Box 99
L'Anse-Saint-Jean
Quebec, Canada
G0V 1J0

With love and multihued blessings for your generosity ;-)

Jean Hudon

AND JANE'S REPLY WAS:

Hi Jean,

Thank you for your reply... You definitely are true to your sun sign of Gemini...a true wordmaster and universal connector.

I will send the $ tomorrow.

From my perspective, you have provided a great service to many. Your compilations have planted seeds that eventually blossom into life changing events. Something that you are probably not aware of. I often cut and paste articles to send to my 15 year old daughter as I feel very strongly about enlightening her to the truths of our government and the world's political environment. And yes, her generation will be left to carry so many of the challenges that are being left behind by the current corporations and governments. I am teaching both of my daughters how important it is to be aware of the world around them and that by small actions they can change the world, at least the small world around them. I truly do believe that the small acts of kindness and awareness of their own actions will radiate outward into the consciousness. Each and every act and positive thought matters to counter-act the negativity and fear.

Anyway, I do believe that it is important to ask your readers to send donations, any donations to help off-set your personal expenses, therefore allowing you to continue to provide the service for the higher good of humanity that you do. This is the universal exchange of energy. This is also valuing on another level the service that you provide.

I will send an intention to the universe for you tonight, for the universe to send you the abundance that is due you. I was guided by Spirit to write you tonight about sending the money......such synchronicity in action. Many blessings to you dear Jean Hudon! You are an inspiration, a spiritual warrior.

With gratitude.....

Jane Grossman

TO WHICH I FINALLY REPLIED:

Dearest Jane

I'm extremely grateful for your loving words of support and encouragement to go ahead with this idea of offering ERN subscribers the possibility of contributing towards facilitating the continuation of this marvelous medium of exchange of mutually enhancing awareness-raising and love-activating material that has developed over time and is known as the Earth Rainbow Network. Despite the long hours of toil and accrued fatigue it sometimes means, I always find very rewarding and fulfilling the enrichment of heart and mind that comes from being at the nodal center of this inflow of mentally stimulating information and love offerings from so many generously gifted people whose driving desire to help heal this world is the very same motivation that continuously prods me ahead in this ever-growing saga. In short, I get a great sense of accomplishment and usefulness in service from doing/being what I do/am and that has been and will always remain the untiring energy source that will keep me beating and pounding the drums of my missionary zeal.

So what I'll simply do now that this opportunity for introducing this demand for assistance presents itself through this generous offer of yours, I'll include our correspondence in the next Light Series compilation and trust that whatever the Universe deems necessary for enabling me to continue will be provided in due time.

Let it be clear though, that this service is and will remain free of charge. I will always continue to include on the list anyone interested to receive these compilations, no matter if any kind of contribution is ever forthcoming.

Once again, I warmly thank you Jane ;-)

Jean

P.S. For the benefit of those who may prefer this method, you also have the option of using the PayPal system to which I already subscribed a year ago. This way, and for instance, since it is only possible here in Quebec to cash checks drawn on a US or Canadian bank, people from outside North America will have this other payment option available to them. To use Paypal, people who are members of this system simply need to go at https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr and login to send me their contribution in a very secure way using my email address - globalvisionary@cybernaute.com - as is explained at this website. The money is paid from their credit card or from a checking account.




2.

From: Jon Carl Skoglund <jcskoglund@aol.com>
Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002
Subject: The goodness of life

I read what you reported on http://www.cybernaute.com/earthconcert2000/Archives2002/RisingPhoenix5.htm I much appreciate your writers' extensive thoughts and advocasy of action. Our power comes from our creator, our Father/Mother God, to us in prayerful living.

Once, as I prayed to God, He/She took my consciousness to the bottom of the sea into the mud into a worm.

He/She made me live the joy of being a worm in the mud at the bottom of the sea. He/She made me aware of the joy of sex ooozing with other worms. She/He said to me. "I love these worms as much as I love you. They are also my sons and daughters. They are as good as I created them to be."

Then I was back in prayer with God and praised and thanked Her/Him for my life, His/Her love for all of Her/His creatures, and for Him/Her teaching me that She/He has created me to be filled with His/Her spirit, and thus to be much more full of Her/His goodness than I have been yet able to be aware of and to embody.

I hope that you have joy, peace, 3 pieces with a tall, cold milk if that is what you like.

Heal a heart. Tell a joke. I collect jokes from the people I meet and retell them to finish every meeting with another person who wants to hear some jokes.

If you want a few laughs, email me. I collect ant tell only clean, short jokes which demean no one I hope.

Sincerely,

Jon Carl Skoglund

"God gave a free man a clearing in the forest."




3.

From: "Philip Wienand" <philip@x-large-music.at>
Subject: Let´s reconnect to the Universal Beings WE ARE!
Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2002

I am not holy nor am I perfect.
I have an own opinion, though.
What was enacted in Assisi recently
Was a vicious attempt to hold back
Evolutions that are overready at the time.

Everybody was talking loud
About peace
And its importance to our world
And when it came to praying
To our One Love God
Everybody dissapeared
To their own compartements
All religions separated.

To Them, making this happen in that way,
It is very clear that Assisi
With its wonderful natural energy
Could become a global center
Of uniting all religious philosophys
Into one Worldwide Spiritual Culture.

So they enacted a manifestation
Of the energy of separation
Once again.
Do we want to let this happen ?
Do we want anybody to gain power on our decisions ?
Do we want the larger numbers of us remain sleeping ?
Or do we really don´t mind ?

Come on, Everybody !
It´s time to wake up !

We can create a Universal Religion,
A Universal Prayer to the One
Creative Source from Within.

Saint Francis of Assisi
Was aware of an Universal Language
That enabled him to communicate
With All That Is, all LIFE.

With Love and Blessings
To All the World

Philip

AND MY REPLY WAS:

Dear Philip

A million thanks for reminding us of the essential truth that our brother Saint Francis came to emphasize through his life-long adoration of and mystical contact with God in All through Nature, a truth we are now to embody and cherish in our every waking moment until the Laws of Love and Harmony governing the natural manifestation of Life, the outgoing expression of creativity, infinite joy and balanced beauty of the Universal One, become the overarching guiding beacon for all human "experiencers", thus triggering the groundswell of recognition necessary to save what remains of the infinite diversity of Life and replenish Nature back to Its prior, sacred magnificence.

Love and Light

Jean




4.

From: MARIESTELLAR@cs.com
Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2002
Subject: I for one will not stand by and do nothing Re: Miscellaneous Subjects #123: The Horrific Legacy of Corporate Greed --- Webposted at http://www.cybernaute.com/earthconcert2000/Archives2002/MiscelSubjects123.

Dear Jean,

As I am reading this and many other compilations I can't really believe the people that are doing these atrocities and manipulating the human population are Human.

How is one of this same race and lives on this Earth not feel they will not experience what everyone else will? Where are they going to go when they have depleted the Earth of all her resources? They must have been promised something big from the so called puppet masters who seem to think that everyone else will go along with their plan and yes they have up until now, we are all awakening to this horror and know what is right and wrong. They have been controlling us with Fear and Hate for so long. Did they really think that God Creator of All That Is was just going to sit by and watch, their time is up and their going for the last chance they have.

I for one will not stand by and do nothing even if it is through my thoughts and prayers I will make a difference. They have been poisoning us and killing us slowly for their pockets to be filled with other peoples blood and souls. Now is the time to come together and stop this nonsense. The runners of this game are running out of time. That's why everything has been hurried and pushed through so fast because they know if the people were awaken during the time they did this, it wouldn't have been so easy. They try to numb us with the Chemtrails and over-medicate everyone so they walk around like Zombies. Why? So they can do what they want. Yes we have been complacent but not because of our own doing but because they wanted us that way. Bless our hearts because we are all good people, we all have a spark of the creator in us. That's why I know they can't be from this place or time.

Thanks again for Love and guidance,

Mariestellar




5.

From: "Pedro Serpa" <serpa_pedro@hotmail.com>
Subject: A comment on A Beacon of Hope
Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2002

Dear Jean,

Would like to give my impression on a particular statement given in the compilation "A Beacon of Hope: The World Social Forum & the Protests at the World Economic Forum" - Archived at http://www.cybernaute.com/earthconcert2000/Archives2002/BeaconHope.htm

"Corporations are transnational and we need to be transnational too if we're going to beat them,"

First of all, this is, in fact an important meeting and an initiative to be appraised and supported.
Only one small detail I wish to point at - of enormous importance, as I see it.

I believe that on the very source of the whole problem - with corporative interests and the specific globalisation which is being imposed - is a view of the world as composed of separate parts, which pervades the whole mind process of the individual. On the individual scale, the fragmented, divisionary mind, based on the above mentioned world view seems to be manifest in the majority of human beings.

This world view manifests on macroscale the ongoing process in microscale, amongst other aspects, the division between rich and poor, us and them, us and animals, us and nature and so on.

This is just to point at the danger in considering "Them" (capitalist corporativists, etc.) as separate from ourselves, hoping that this ancient mistake being repeated time after time is not sub-reptitiously included in the process of creation of the other possible world.

Can we create a world without enemies, without conflict, if we keep creating them in the process? (creating understood as considering them our "enemies" or any view of separate opposition, which is the source of any conflict, is it not?)

We are all human.

Just human - and that is already so much.

I sincerely hope, and urge every human being, me included, to live and manifest in higher orders all that is so deeply human in us all.

Passionate for All That Is,

Pedro




6.

From: "Ivan Fraser" <ivanfraser@cableinet.co.uk>
Subject: The Photon Band

Hi Jean

Thanks for the updates.

I was prompted to send you this following extract from the forthcoming Truth Campaign magazine, re The Photon Band, when I saw it mentioned in relation to Nibiru by Matthew Ward. I too am extremely skeptical about the term Nibiru as applied to this 'rogue planet. The source for this is Z Sitchin, who has strained and stretched the Sumerian epic Enuma Elis, to make it a cosmological disaster story, rather than creation myth with esoteric archetypes, which is basically what I think it is.

But back to the Photon band. I am writing revisions to my book Lifting The Veil (written 1995-6), in which I included a brief reference to the Photon Band, and think this myth should be laid to rest. There are a couple of follow-up references at the end too.

The "Photon Band" concept, at the time of writing the book was a popular concept in numerous books that I was reading at the time and did seem then to explain why our civilisations rise and fall in and out of ignorance and spirituality. Basically the theory is that we pass periodically through a doughnut shaped ring of high energy, which accelerates our vibration for 2000 years, then we come out of it for 11000 number of years etc. in cycles of rises and falls in frequency. It was quoted in several books that 'scientists" had detected this band and I had no reason to doubt it at the time. However, on further examination, I discovered that there are no records of this so-called 'scientific discovery" and the whole thing can be traced back to an article given to an Australian UFO researcher by a member of his group, a university student. The article was originally written in 1981 and then reprinted in Nexus in 1991. This single article, it would appear, is the source for all information on the so-called scientific discovery of the Photon Band.

Satellite equipment of the time was very basic and is highly unlikely to have had any equipment on board which could detect something of the nature of what is claimed. Neither have scientists since reported this phenomenon, despite having far more advanced equipment which could.

Proof that this is not a scientific article, as is claimed, lies in the fact that the Photon Band is described with a strange term - "manasic". The term is not scientific! The term is one used in the esoteric school known as Theosophy, and means basically "deriving from the thinking principle in us” or simply "mental". This fact in itself negates the claims that the Photon Band has 'scientific" status. The author may have been playing a practical joke to see how far she could get with a hoax, perhaps to discredit the UFO society; she obviously had an interest in occultism - at least Theosophy or the teachings of Alice Bailey - which has strongly influenced the New Age movement as it is, without such additional fraudulent claims. Given the mass of damning evidence against many New Age and related theories, and the close association between many writers of this genre and the Intelligence services, could it be this was an early move in social conditioning operated behind the scenes to help a New Age religious movement on its way, drawing on ancient texts, religious archetypes (many of which are derived from astrology/astronomy - such as the 26000 year precessional cycle etc.) and occultism such as Theosophy?

The Photon Band story, as popularised in a 1995 book called The Pleiadian Agenda, involves ET messages channelled through the author, Barbara Hand Clow. Claims for the Photon Band altered the claim in the original article that the complete cycle involved a span of 24000 years to 26000 years. It claimed that our sun is part of the Pleiades constellation - which it isn’t. And also claimed that "Galactic Centre" around which we all orbit, is a star called Alcyone - which it isn’t. Interestingly, an author named La Violette had written a book called Warriors of Creation, which includes a theory of superwaves emanating from the Galaxy's core which may have cataclysmic effects on the Earth; that 13,000 years ago a belt of radiation from the Galactic centre had disrupted the Earth. He had submitted his manuscript to Hand Clow in 1991, as she was the Vice President editor of Bear and Company, but due to reservations, he later withdrew it. Clow claimed to have started "channelling" the messages which became The Pleiadian Agenda within months of this. The book contains a curious mixture of the article printed in Nexus in 1991, and the book submitted to Clow in 1991 merely months before she started "channelling" the work.

The whole basis for these particular "channelled" assertions is so fishy and unsound from the outset that I therefore cannot support this concept. I also have massive doubts as to the accuracy of any New Age ET channelling. At best it seems mostly misinterpreted and at worst an Intelligence/military psychological operation designed to create cults and initiate a new religion for the new millennium/astrological age, to unify and replace the diverse religions already in existence. Just as Christianity did at the beginning of the age of Pisces, under the Romans. It also serves to enhance the idea that UFO sightings are of alien craft, rather than Earth-based secret technology which has been used for over 100 years.

For further information see La Violette's website at:
http://www.etheric.com/.
And article "The Pleiades in Fact & Fiction - Exploding the myth of the Photon Belt" By Clare Williams (Originally published in UFORIC Communique, October 1992) at:
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/8148/pleiades.html.


TOGETHER IN TRUTH WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!

http://www.truthcampaign.co.uk

Love

Ivan




7.

From: "Aannsha" <bazaann@ozemail.com.au>
Subject: Re: Rising Phoenix Series #6: On the Cutting Edge of the Emerging New Paradigm of Love
Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002

Dearest Untiring Jean,

I've just read this and related to it all, especially David Wilcock.

I concur, and in "From 3D to 5D" of the Future Visions 2012 section - direct page address: http://www.ozemail.com.au/~bazaann/future2.htm that is what I was told - we will be 'coming home'.

Personally I'd like to do this consciously, so am spending as much of my spare conscious time communicating with Godforce. I'm realising that it's important to talk to God to strengthen my conscious connection with All That Is - and important to listen, so I act from that God consciousness, rather than ego-consciousness. And as David said, its about love. Acceptance. Tolerance. Forgiveness.

Sananda said the same in his New Year's message for 2000 - see page http://www.ozemail.com.au/~bazaann/articles/sanandas.htm

To quote Sananda in part:

"Great people of Earth who have decided to stay on, here is the New Manifesto, the New Covenant, that has taken effect. You continue to have free will and will always do so while you play this Game - and so what is laid out before you now, as always, is for you to take or leave. Just remember - if you are not a part of the solution, you are part of the problem by default - as the saying goes.

What is the New Manifesto?

Simply this: Take your highest goals, your loftiest visions, your most cherished dreams - focus on them first thing after waking and last thing before sleeping. Revisit them during your day and while you sleep. Then bring them to Earth.

Share your visions with trusted ones. Encourage your enemies. Lay down your weapons and take up the Challenge. Earth is to be reborn and you can be a part of the midwifery team...." END QUOTE

And my comments on page http://www.ozemail.com.au/~bazaann/articles/sananda.htm add my understanding while I was writing the above. Also, a new addition that may interest your readers is http://www.ozemail.com.au~/bazaann/comments.htm, which contains an excellent question from a reader, plus a reply, which adds a bit more "dimension" to the above.

Keep up the evolutionary work...
Kindest regards,

Aannsha




8.

Sent by "Kiara Windrider" <hoep@snowcrest.net>

Actual Radio Conversation

This was a conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in late 1995.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.




9.

Kissing your ass good-bye

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, What a shame, he makes that little boy walk. They then decided they both would walk. Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye.

Sent by Liz Daly <dalyreiki@earthlink.net>





10.

THIS ONE NEARLY KILLED ME ;-)

Notes from a Texas Chili Cookoff - Sent by "Donald Stacey" <dstacey@mediaone.net>

From: http://www.funnybunch.com/fun/chili.htm

"These are notes from an inexperienced chili taster named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from New Jersey ...

"Recently I was lucky enough to be the#10,000th attendee at the State Fair in Texas and was asked to fill in to be a judge at a chili cook-off.

Apparently the original Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that it would be a fun event and a true taste of Texas hospitality. They assured me that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event."

~Chili~ #1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy COW!, what the heck is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

~Chili~ #2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in#3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

~Chili~ #3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk.

~Chili~ # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that#300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

~Chili~ # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me burst into flames. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

~Chili~ # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. I need to wipe my rear with a snow cone!

~Chili~ # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number#3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.

~Chili~ # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending... this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number#3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

FRANK: -------------- (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)"




11.

From: http://www.topica.com/lists/lotd/read

For my next trick...

The car was pulled over by a highway patrol woman for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously. "I’m a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act." "Well, show me," the officer demanded. The juggler took out the machetes and started juggling them; first three, then more until he was tossing seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show in the breakdown lane and amazing the officer. Just then, another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "I’ve got to give up drinking! Look at the test they’re giving now."







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